![]() ![]() They used positive air flow to try to get the fluid off his lungs, but he wanted to take the mask off, he said, “but Mama I can’t breathe”. We went to see Journey in concert on 6/11, and 4 days later he said call 911 and we went to the ER here in Union, SC. We read on WebMD about CHF, but I guess our hearts and minds were protecting us. He said he thought he had 1 maybe 3 years left, but in 4 shorts months he was gone. He was coming to the realization of losing his life. We had many long talks during those last months. He was in stage 4 of congestive heart failure when he started coughing up blood and within 4-5 months. Matthew and I were Mother and son soulmates. He loved cars and driving around was his independence. He was diagnosed with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy right before he was 5 and went in a wheelchair at 15. We lost our only child on 6/18/17, Matthew at 28 1/2 years old. We were all thee with him and I talked to him and told him who all was there by name. I wish we had had end of life help with my Daddy. When the whole team is supporting families and patients with consistent care, the morale rises as do CAHPS scores. Our new hires don't understand that caring for a person at end of life is different than caring for someone who will get better. about The Sacred Moment of Deathįor those who are educating staff, students, new hospice workers, end of life doula programs, I encourage you to use my comprehensive DVD THIS IS HOW PEOPLE DIE as a training tool. This is the goal, the culmination of our time spent with families and significant others. ![]() They will carry that memory with them forever. Through this support and guidance you are creating the sacred experience for those present and that experience will become their sacred memory. This will be the last private time they will have with their special person, give them that opportunity. ![]() Once death has occurred encourage those present to say goodbye to the body again before calling the funeral home. Dad or grandmother or friend or husband are expressing the effort to release them from their body. All that is part of the labor of dying.īy guiding them you are showing those present that nothing bad is happening, nothing pathological is happening. Explain how the breathing changes, about the sounds they may hear, the words that won’t make sense, the often strange and unusual facial expressions they may see. Now is the time to talk with those present as to what is about to occur. By sharing innermost thoughts and feelings with them they are giving their special person more pieces to their puzzle of life. The person that is dying is processing their life. The opportunity to address “loose ends,” to say those things that were never said. ![]() This is their gift as well as a gift to the person who is dying. Sit by or on the bed, hold a hand, lay down in the bed, cuddle, whatever your heart guides you to do. To talk with them, tell them everything they have wanted and need to say, the good, and even the challenging. In the hours before death, when the person is not responsive, suggest that each person present spend time alone with the person who is dying. We give guidance as to what families or significant others can do while labor is progressing. Teach what is normal and what is more challenging. How do we do that? How do we support and guide? We first give information. Our goal is to guide and support those present through the moment the last breath occurs. What to say and what to be silent about.Īll the work we do leads up to the moment of death. Guiding, supporting and teaching those present what is normal in dying and what is not. The sacred moment of death - that is the goal for those of us who work with end of life. ![]()
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